The line between dreams and goals is blurry for me. In my head, I feel like dreams become goals. We think of what we want to do, we dream about it, and then we set goals so that we can achieve it.
My ultimate dream is to live. I have many goals, be they goals for five minutes from now or goals for five years from now, that will help me to make this dream reality. I believe that this act of setting the bar for myself is crucial to going about the course of life.
For example, in the morning, my goal is to get out of bed. This may sound utterly ridiculous to some, but to others it’s everything. Life is hard sometimes. Taking the easy way out, hiding, is an easier choice many days than fighting back. But just because something is easy doesn’t make it right.
My next goal in the day is to be myself. This begs the question, who is that self? I don’t fully know. This is a goal that I can’t always achieve, but I do the best I can. I stand up for what I believe in; I stand up for what’s right. I try to help others. I’ve rediscovered my love for skirts. I write about whatever the heck I want. I laugh when something is funny; I cry when it isn’t. Maybe I don’t always know who I am, but I make a concerted effort to not hide my feelings. I spent too long doing that, and now I flounder when I have to show who I really am.
I follow this goal up with the goal of getting done all of the things I need to get done. This is important to me. I jam pack my day so full that I don’t give myself time to breathe, and most of the time I’m okay with that. I find that it’s better to keep busy than to sit idle. This is how I make my mark on the world. I want to leave something behind; I want to be remembered.
In the long term, my goal for this year is to complete truly fantastic graduate school applications that get every school I apply to to accept me. This is both a goal and a dream in the making, I suppose. Writing is everything to me, closely followed by school. If I could do it forever, I would. I WANT to. But an offshoot of this goal is the goal that I need to accept that I may not get in, and I need to understand that doesn’t mean I’m not good enough. It simply means that I don’t fit the particular mold that program is looking for.
And someday, in five years, ten…I still want a family. I want a second chance at that ideal, that husband and baby and white picket fenced yard that I missed out on the first time around.
One thing I have learned is that life never has enough time for all of the things we want. We can’t just wait for things to come to us. If we do that, these things just stay dreams forever. We have to reach out and sometimes fight tooth and nail to get the things that we want and need. If we don’t try, our dreams never become real.
I, for one, want my dreams to become reality. I have often dreamed about living my life, really living it. And now I’m doing that. To me, this means I can do anything.