On Unicorns (And Grad School)

“A unicorn is someone who knows they’re magical and isn’t afraid to show it.”

I would give anything to have certainty one hundred percent of the time.  It’s strange, really.  On the nights when I have a drink in me and I’ve been working really hard on my writing…well, those are the nights when I worry the most about grad school.  I worry that I’m not good enough; I worry that I won’t get in.  I write every single day.  If you’re here, reading, then you know that.  Some days, I write about nothing.  Like this.  But I write.  And I try.  So hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want to go to grad school.  I want that concrete confirmation that I can be truly awesome at something.  I’m a good writer.  I know that.  But I want to great.  I want to make a difference; I want to leave a mark.  I need this win to finish my story.  I need a happy ending.

I often wonder what I will end up doing with an English degree.  Will I be able to hack it and make enough money with my writing?  Or will I end up back at the bottom of the barrel in retail living out someone else’s desires?

I want to be magical.  Gosh.  I want to be a bloody unicorn.  If I was a unicorn, I would know without a doubt that I was going the right way.

Grad school seems quite far away right now, but the closer it gets, the scarier it becomes.

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