“A unicorn is someone who knows they’re magical and isn’t afraid to show it.”
I would give anything to have certainty one hundred percent of the time. It’s strange, really. On the nights when I have a drink in me and I’ve been working really hard on my writing…well, those are the nights when I worry the most about grad school. I worry that I’m not good enough; I worry that I won’t get in. I write every single day. If you’re here, reading, then you know that. Some days, I write about nothing. Like this. But I write. And I try. So hard.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much as I want to go to grad school. I want that concrete confirmation that I can be truly awesome at something. I’m a good writer. I know that. But I want to great. I want to make a difference; I want to leave a mark. I need this win to finish my story. I need a happy ending.
I often wonder what I will end up doing with an English degree. Will I be able to hack it and make enough money with my writing? Or will I end up back at the bottom of the barrel in retail living out someone else’s desires?
I want to be magical. Gosh. I want to be a bloody unicorn. If I was a unicorn, I would know without a doubt that I was going the right way.
Grad school seems quite far away right now, but the closer it gets, the scarier it becomes.