Day 4! I have hope that I am turning over a new leaf here in terms of my writing. 🙂
Truthfully, I think I’m in the process of turning over several. I actually went to a social event tonight. I spoke, I carried on conversation, and I was my generally awesome self. If you know me, you understand-this is not always normal in social situations. It was a new experience; generally I avoid sociability. It isn’t that I don’t like people. Rather, it’s that I’m worried people won’t like me. I had fun. I met some (relatively) new people. We drank beer. We started a gigantic bonfire. The semester (my worst ever) is officially drawing to a close, and I’ve come away with friends.
What does it mean to be social, really? To be marked by or passed in pleasant companionship with friends or associates. To go out; to be with people. The phrase “no man is an island” has an incredibly deep meaning for me now. I would never have made it through this semester on my own. I’m learning to talk, and I’m learning to just be one person in every situation. To just be me. I believe that it takes some people a knock over the head to figure this sort of thing out. I also believe, no, I know, that I am one of those people. It’s possible for things to be bad, of course. But it’s also possible to get through them.
I’m used to being the girl who sits in the background; as a matter of fact, I’m TOO used to it. But I’m getting to a point now where I’m getting used to being the girl who DOESN’T. I think I like her so, SO much better. 🙂